


A Mother's Instinct

by Huntress_ApexLegend



Series: The Hunters Collection [2]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Breasts, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fertility Issues, Love, Loving Marriage, NSFW, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Sad and Happy, Stillbirth, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26296741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress_ApexLegend/pseuds/Huntress_ApexLegend
Summary: After a beautiful wedding you and Bloodhound start your life together. Things go awry, in regards with your struggle to have a successful pregnancy but Bloodhound stays by your side. Through heartbreak and heartache you both manage to stay together, they do everything in their power to help you through these struggles alongside your best friend Ajay (lifeline).Very family oriented, second story to 'A Hunter's Survival'.
Relationships: Bloodhound (Apex Legends)/Reader
Series: The Hunters Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910677
Comments: 28
Kudos: 41





	1. In Due Time

**Author's Note:**

> There's one part where it kinda dips into Bloodhound's POV but it comes back to yours after the paragraph, it kinda sounds weird butit is intended that way.

"I can't keep going like this..." I sigh and hold my stomach as if I'm about to puke.

"Stop trying."

"What?" I stare at Ajay in disbelief and let my frown deepen, "It's too late for that."

"I know but I mean...if things don't work out this time." I shake my head and let a few tears cascade down my face.

"It's going to happen again, isn't it?" I just found out I am about 3 months pregnant but fear overrides the joy I feel. Of course I love this baby but I feel disconnected from my body in a way. It's been a little over a year since our wedding and I've had two miscarriages in that time. This baby is my remaining hope but if it goes as expected...I can't think that way but Ajay is right, if this doesn't work out maybe I should give up on ever having children (at least my own because adoption is still a viable option).

"I have a friend who works in a fertility clinic, why dun I help yah get an appointment?" I sigh and turn away for a moment.

"Ajay, I can't afford that."

"(y/n), your spouse wins almost every week and I know winners make a pretty penny in these games-"

"No!" I panic and lower my voice while giving her an apologetic look, "I can't ask them to do that, clearly they aren't the problem..."

"Do we have to go over this again? Yah married now, they can easily share these financial responsibilities." 

"I just can't fathom that Ajay, you know they have already done so much for me. I mean, therapy isn't cheap but they keep paying for it. And what about our house that they are having built on land they bought? I'm tired of being such a deadweight, how would it look if I had them pay to help me with a successful pregnancy and then pay for everything for the baby afterwards?"

"You'd look like a loving couple doing yah best to share a happy life together. Don't let money keep you from making each other happy." I let her pull me into a quick hug and nod. 

Unbeknownst to me, Bloodhound is listening in on my conversation. They hadn't intended to eavesdrop but they were about to come inside to let me know they are ready to go. But now their thoughts are plagued with worry, if I asked for them to pay for a specialist they wouldn't hesitate to help. As much as they love me and want their family, watching me suffer every time another pregnancy fails...it's honestly breaking their heart. And they have even joined in some of those therapy sessions to try to find better ways to help me. They need to find the words to tell me it's alright, that they don't blame me but they know deep down inside I am always going to blame myself for all those miscarriages. Maybe it's time to stop trying...They shake the negative thoughts away, they will do whatever it takes to make me happy. They know how badly I want this, a big family to take care of which they will happily provide for (they are more than capable, Ajay makes an excellent point there). After pushing open the door both Ajay and I glance their way before a smile makes its way onto my face.

"Hey there." I can feel my heart racing, even after all this time it still kicks into overdrive everytime I see them. At the same time a feeling, similar to butterflies fluttering, ripples across my stomach. I look down and glance back up at them, I've never been this far along so I'm not sure if it's possible to feel the baby this early.

"Are you alright beloved? You look confused." Ajay smiles knowingly between us as Bloodhound tilts their head.

"I think...I felt it."

"Felt the barn(baby)? Is it too early for that?"

"It's too early for you to feel it but women are sensitive to the movement, it feels something like butterflies."

"That's what I felt!" I stand up excitedly and throw my arms around her, "Thanks J, I feel so much better after talking to you."

"Yah welcome, I'm here anytime."

"Darling, I'd like to go home for the break." I nod in understanding and give Ajay a small wave as Bloodhound intertwines their hand with mine.

"I'll see you soon, J."

"Stay safe (y/n), and don't hurt my best friend BH, I'll hunt you down!" She jokes, Bloodhound chuckles and nods.

"Until next time, Lifeline."

"Oh that's cold."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Houndie, you hungry?"

"I am not but I assume that means you are. Vhat do you desire, elskan min?" I wave them away dissmissively and smile.

"I'll find something, don't go crazy over me."

"You know it is no problem, you are carrying our child it is the least I can do." I contemplate it for a moment, maybe food can wait because I realize I'm hungry for something else, something that I can't eat but I will undoubtedly enjoy just as much.

"You're right. Come on, I know what I want." They raise an eyebrow but follow me anyways, we pass by Artur and Luna's cuddle session on our couch. I smile at the two but keep moving, I'm far too excited for what I hope is about to come.

"Beloved slow down, vhy are you in such a rush?" I don't respond until we step into the bedroom together, their eyebrows furrow together but I bite my lip and close the door. I push them against the wall, their mask and gear was already removed after we entered their cabin so without interruption I press our lips together. They hum into the kiss which is something they do to let me know they consent to what's happening. After the shock of my advances wears off they rest one hand on my hip, the other holds the back of my head as they tilt it back to deepen the kiss. I know they are eager but they are trying to be careful since they are aware of our precarious situation with my pregnancy. It reminds me of how thoughtful and loving they are as a partner which makes the heat pooling below my abdomen blossom up through my chest. My nipples, while not given any attention, are painfully pert and begging to be touched. My heart is thumping hard against my chest as their hand, previously tangled in my hair, travels down towards my thigh. With both hands wrapped around them securely they lift me up and carry me to the bed, I carefully wrap my legs around their waist to ensure I won't fall.

"My love..." They haven't had any time to catch their breath after the kiss so they are breathing heavily, "Let me hear that beautiful voice." They immediately bury their head in the nape of my neck. I can feel their tongue sliding along the sensitive skin before they suck on it. They are still trying to be gentle but when I throw my head back and moan they growl against my neck.

"Hound, H-Houndie..."

"Yes?" Their voice is a bit muffled but laced with lust.

"Please, nngh, m-more!" They start trailing kisses along my skin, starting from my neck down to my shoulder. They even pull my shirt down far enough to reach my collarbone.

"Are you okay vith-" I cut them off, already knowing what they want to ask because they make it a point to ask for consent every time.

"Yes p-please, mark my s-skin. Let everyone know, hhnng, who I belong to." With that they pull away, there's a wild look in their eyes as they help me out of my shirt. My pants and panties follow quickly afterwards. I lift my torso up enough to let their hands snake around it to unclasp my bra. Once it's gone and I'm bare before them they return to my neck, sucking more lovebites into the skin before they trail kisses down to my breasts. I can feel them smirk against my skin, it sends a shiver down my spine as their sharp canines drag across my skin.

"Such soft and supple breasts you have, my love. I can't vait to see them swollen and leaking vith milk." My face heats up immediately, they know all the right things to say to make me squirm underneath them. Gods, they are unfairly good at this...

"Hound-" They focus on my nipples, they suck on one while teasing the other by rolling it between their pointer finger and thumb. They groan against my skin, I can feel it against the now wet skin which causes a strangled moan to escape my throat. They switch breast and give the other one equal treatment before continuing their journey down my body. I notice their hesitation as their eyes scan my stomach, they press a chaste kiss near my belly button and start whispering something in their native tongue.

"Sweetheart?" They snap out of their daze and kneel in front of me, one hand reaches forward to cup my cheek.

"I heard some of your conversation earlier, if something happens-"

"It will be okay, alright? We have to be positive about this." They nod and use their thumb to rub my cheek.

"But if...I need you to know how much I love you. I intend to show you how much I love you. And if you decide you vish to see the doctor, please tell me. I vant nothing more than for you to be happy vith me." A tear of joy escapes my eye, they quickly wipe it away as a look of adoration washes across their face.

"Houndie, I couldn't ever be unhappy with you. You are so good to me..." They lean down and kiss me with fervor, I return it as best as I can before they pull away once again. I help them pull their shirt over their head before they step off of the bed to shed the rest of their clothes. My face is a deep shade of red as I admire their body, their muscles are well-defined and the scars adorning their skin suits them perfectly. They even have a few tattoos that I let my eyes trace over as they cover my body with theirs once again.

"I just need you to know I am villing to pay for vhatever you need. And I love you, so very much." They use one hand to keep themself steady while the other caresses my side, I sigh and smile at them.

"I couldn't ever pay you back Hound. And you know I love you too, so much." I can feel my heart swelling with happiness as they stare down at me with that gorgeous lopsided grin on their face.

"You pay me back simply by being my faithful vife."

"Oh Houndie!" I whimper, their words hurt me in all the right ways. My arms snake around their neck and I pull them down for a kiss. As soon as our lips meet I can feel their erection pressing against my hole, they moan into the kiss and begin slide their length inside. I moan against their lips and whimper again, somehow I manage to whine out their name as they fully sheath themself inside.

"My love, you feel so..." I'm honored by how speechless they seem but I don't dwell on it as they start thrusting. They start out with slow and steady thrusts, the friction causes me so much pleasure that I find myself scratching at their back. "Oh gods..." They let out a long breath, as if they were holding it in as they looked for the right words to say.

"Bloodhound, it feels s-so good." They let their head fall to my shoulder as they begin slamming harder into me. My head is clouded with lust, all I can think about is how great their cock feels. It's like the emotional rollercoaster that I've been on stops for the moment, my mind is blissfully blank for now. All I want is for them to leave me dripping with cum and to cover me in dark bruises.

"(y/n), oh my love..."

"Bloodhound please, fill me to the brim with your cum. I want you to uphold your claim on my body. Please, please, please!" They moan before growling against my shoulder, their forehead is slick with sweat as their hips stutter.

"I love you." They slam all the way in one last time, their hand squeezes my hip almost painfully as I can feel the warmth from their seed shoot inside. The feeling is enough to have my walls clench around their cock as I ride out my own orgasm. We're both panting heavily as they collapse beside me, I let out a little giggle as they glance my way.

"I love you too Houndie."

"Hmm, now I am hungry. Go ahead and clean up beloved, I vill bring us dinner in bed tonight."

"That's so sweet." We sit up together, I give them a quick peck on the cheek before heading to the bathroom.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘸𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘰 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥.


	2. Resurfacing Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a cute little filler chapter before more sadness ensues :3

The next morning is just as blissful as the previous night. The sunlight barely manages to peak through a small gap in the curtains as it rises to begin the day anew. I roll onto my side carefully and pat the bed but whine when I realize it's already empty. Just as I'm about to get out of bed the door swings open, Bloodhound steps inside the room with a tray of soft foods. They know the pregnancy has made me pretty nauseous so I have a hard time holding food down (especially this early in the morning). I smile adoringly at them, they flash me a toothy grin and wink as I sit up. They come around the side of the bed and rest the tray in my lap carefully, I stare at the delicious array of food and sigh contently.

"Dinner and breakfast? Now I really know you're spoiling me." They lean forward to quickly peck my cheek and move towards the door once more.

"Not just you, beloved. Our sá litli (little one) is getting spoiled as vell." I take a tentative sip of water, worried how my stomach will react (and water puking is the WORST) but my stomach stays calm.

"Where are you off to? You should spend the morning in bed, cuddling me." They chuckle and shake their head slowly.

"As much as I'd love that I am preparing for a hunt. Fresh meat vould be healthy for you and the Gods know our diets have not been great vith the games going on." I nod in understanding and return my attention to the food.

"Would it," I swallow the bite I'm chewing, "be okay if I joined you? I could use some fresh air and exercise, I promise to stay out of your way." They turn away hesitantly and sigh. I'm worried I might have upset them but they return their gaze to me and smile.

"If you promise to stay close and quiet then you can come, vinter is around the corner so many animals vill be preparing to hibernate." 

"Yeah okay! Just let me eat-"

"Take your time, I vill gather everything together so ve can leave. If you choose to take a shower make sure you bundle up and vear a hat, there's no need for you to get sick." My heartbeat picks up, the warmth in my chest spreads across my body. Just knowing how much they worry about me makes me feel special. Sometimes I feel undeserving of their love but when I express any concerns they shake their head vigorously and hold my hands as a reassurance. Then they will usually sit me down to watch our wedding tape, specifically when we recite our vows.

It's just so fulfilling to know that I married the perfect person for me. They are a better spouse than I could have ever imagined.

"Elska?" I look up at them, confusion evident in my expression. "Are you okay?"

"Oh Houndie, I'm perfect." They nod and gesture towards the food.

"Eat up and let's get this day started my love. Ve're burning sunlight, as you like to say."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The air is cool and crisp but it feels luxurious on my abnormally hot body. This is exactly how I felt that first time, it's almost as if my pregnancy is turning me into a human furnace and it's quite uncomfortable. But I'd rather not complain about it which is why Bloodhound asked me to wear so many layers (they didn't know how I was feeling) and I didn't want to worry them so I went along with it. Plus being affected in such an obvious way is comforting (oddly enough). These symptoms remind me that I'm still pregnant, whether it be the heat eminating from my body or the nausea and vomiting.

I need to stop stressing so much but after so much loss it's hard not to let my mind wander to that dark place...

"Beloved, please." They whisper harshly, I look up from my feet and smile apologetically. After missing out on hunting for the entire season my normal lightfooted behavior is much more sloppy, I've been snapping twigs under my boots left and right.

"Sorry." I barely manage to get out, they don't say anything as they return their attention to our surroundings. Something clearly catches their eye and they turn around with a nervous look on their face.

"Valk back the vay ve came, hurry." They whisper-shout and usher me to move quickly. I raise an eyebrow and follow their previous line of sight and my mouth falls agape. I can't whimper or whine as fear freezes me in my boots, Bloodhound nudges me but I still can't find the will to move. Not far away a bear has its back to us, he seems to be foraging for food from the looks of it. My breathing becomes labored and when Bloodhound realizes I can't move they let their hands fall to my thighs. They stay like that but in a split second their arms snake around my thighs and they hoist me up, I let my arms wrap around their neck and bury my face in their shoulder. There's a strong phantom pain in my back, similar to a painful burning sensation as a few tears begin to slip down my face.

"It's okay. Ve're okay." They keep repeating the phrases over and over again, the stress feels like its constricting my lungs and heart. I find myself having trouble breathing as those few tears turn into ugly sobs. "My love." Their voice brings me out of my thoughts as I feel them sit down with me still comfortably resting in their lap.

"Please, look at me." I reluctantly lift my head up and scan our surroundings. We're sitting on the hand-carved bench right outside of my cabin. Luna and Artur are perched on it as well, both of them have their heads tilted in our direction. I finally let my eyes meet Bloodhound's blue-gray ones, worry is written all over their face.

"Bloodhound." It's all I manage to get out before slumping forward in their arms. Even though I'm already burning up the warmth from their body brings me comfort. Hell, just knowing they are here with me helps soothe my nerves but now my stomach feels like it has been turned upside down. 

"I am so sorry, I didn't think ve vould see anything." They apologize and rub my back, I sniffle and wipe at my face before leaning back in their lap.

"No, I'm sorry I didn't react well. I just felt frozen, my feet wouldn't move." A fresh wave of tears cascade down my slightly pink cheeks, "I just thought I was over this fear. It's still so intense." They move one hand from my hip to my shoulder while the other comes up to hold my chin. Their thumb traces my bottom lip as their eyes maintain contact with mine.

"It's okay, you are reacting as one vould expect. Vhat happened vas terrifying and you are vith child now so it's no surprise you are terrified. But I promise vith all of my heart that I vill not let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?" I cup their cheek and nod before leaning in for a kiss. There's no doubt in my mind that they can taste the saltiness of my tears but they don't pull away or say anything. Instead they deepen the kiss, when I finally pull back I begin to feel a bit lightheaded.

"I trust you." I manage to breathe out, they smile but I can tell they are still a bit worried.

"Vould you like to lay down to relax? I can massage your body to help release some of the tension and stress."

"That sounds heavenly." I lean on their body as they stand up, their arms wrap tightly around my waist. They open the door to the cabin and enter it carefully with me in their arms. We make our way upstairs to the bedroom, they lay me down and I sigh. My bed is not nearly as comfortable as theirs is but this will work for now. They caress my cheek and help me out of some of my outer layers, after I'm out of my jacket and long-sleeved shirt I'm left with a tank top and sweatpants. Without thinking about it I slide out of my sweatpants, they chuckle and help me sit up. I let my head fall back as they shift around, their chest is pressed against my back and they slip one hand under my tank top while the other runs up and down my arm.

"You are safe now my falleg kona and my sá litli, I promise." I find myself relaxing immediately, their words are not only soft but comforting as well.

"Thank you Bloodhound. I hate how weak this makes me feel." They rub gentle circles around my belly button and nuzzle my neck. I can feel them kiss down to my shoulder and back up to my neck.

"You are stronger than you know. A lot has happened this last year and yet here you are, strong-villed and courageous. After all that has happened to you, you haven't given up on our family or yourself. Ve just need to find your niche. You can still hunt vhen you are comfortable but for now take it one day at a time."

"You make everything feel so easy." They move from behind me and motion for me to lay down, I oblige them and feel the bed sink behind me as they join me.

"I just vant you to know I'm here, no matter vhat happens. I love you and our baby more than anything." I turn so my back is against the bed and smile at them, their hand makes its way back to my stomach.

"I love you too." I stretch out a bit and yawn, "I think I need a nap, that was a lot of excitement. You don't need to stay though."

"Of course I do." They brush some hair out of my face and cuddle into my side, "Sweet dreams beloved."

"They are only sweet if you're in 'em." I manage to get it out, my voice is low and tired as they pet my hair.

Somehow, even after an anxiety attack, they manage to keep me grounded. It's like no matter where I go and how dark it is they are the light at the end of the tunnel to guide me to safety.

They are everything to me, I can't imagine what my life would be like without them and I don't want to.


	3. It's a !?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Took awhile to update so here's an extra long filler chapter.

It's been two weeks since the whole hunting debacle and things have been going smoothly, for the most part. Every day is still a challenge, when my nausea becomes too severe I spiral into a panic. My doctor is undoubtedly tired of hearing my voice but I can't help it. Hound can be reassuring but it's nice to be told by a professional that everything is alright.

It is alright. We're alright. 

I stand in front of the mirror in our shared closet as Hound walks up behind me, my thoughts finally calm down and I'm able to smile at them. After a moment of our gaze being locked I return my focus to the mirror. My hands fall to my sides to pat down my dress, I can't help but let my eyes linger on the very apparent small bump. Maybe it wouldn't be so obvious to anyone who doesn't know but I know and it excites me to finally see some physical progression with this pregnancy.

"You are absolutely glowing, my love." They brush a few stray strands of hair behind my ear and tilt their head in the mirror. Their mask is already on, we're both just about ready to go to my four month check-up. Not only that but, since I'm 16 weeks along, there is a chance we'll be able to find out the sex of the baby.

"You can tell, can't you?" I hold one hand just below my belly and rub around the protruding bump with the other. Through the mirror I look up into the lense of the mask expectantly, they take a step back and motion for me to turn around. Their hands fall to my shoulders and their line of sight falls to my stomach before returning to my eyes. 

"Beloved, stop vorrying. And yes, I can see that cute little bump." They kneel down and rest the top of the mask (where their forehead would be) against my stomach and sigh. "Our child is growing healthy and strong, you have to trust that the Gods vill protect the precious life growing inside of you."

"You're right," I sweep my hand across the beads on the side of their mask and smile excitedly," Now let's go see our baby."

"Yes, of course."

The walk through the forest is quite calming. The air is cool with winter right around the corner, I snuggle into my sweater and sigh contently. Bloodhound laughs as Artur and Luna rush past us in what seems to be a high-speed chase. I shake my head and giggle along with them until they get too far ahead to see anymore. Once the moment has passed the crunching of twigs under our boots along with the whistling of the wind is all that remains. I lean closer towards Hound and intertwine our hands as the city comes into view. They squeeze my hand reassuringly and we step out onto the sidewalk, they are recognized immediately by some passersby. A few fans work up the nerve to say hello but most are respectfully distant (even if they do take "discreet" pictures) as we continue on our way to the office.

The three-story building is recently renovated and welcoming, Bloodhound insisted on paying for the best doctors possible. I couldn't deny what they asked of me, I know in my heart they only want the best to ensure our childs' safety no matter what the cost is. It makes my heart quicken its pace every time they are mindful of my (and their) fears when it comes to our baby.

They hold the door open and patiently wait until I step inside, I immediately discard my sweater once I realize the heat is on. I glance at Bloodhound through my peripheral vision and smile," The people of Solace wouldn't last a day on Talos."

"Ah, you remembered." They have told me about their home many times in the past, I haven't had a chance to visit it yet but they do occasionally travel to Talos for work. "So vould you consider having the baby in my village? I know that's a lot to ask but-"

"It's not Hound, but that's something we can talk about when I'm a little bit further along."

"Agreed," They hold the door open to the office, the receptionist greets us with a smile and a warm 'hello' as we enter, "I vill sign you in, take a seat beloved." 

"Thanks sweetheart." I sit down with an overdramatic sigh, my feet are incredibly sore. The excercise I get from walking is beneficial to my health but sometimes it feels like more of a hassel than it's worth. But, at the end of the day, I am going to do whatever it takes to do things right this time around.

"Ve're all set, beloved." Bloodhound sits beside me and rests their arm over my shoulder. I lean into them with a wide smile plastered onto my face, I am just so excited to see our baby again after a whole month. Bloodhound seems a bit restless too, their leg is bouncing and bumping against my knee. This is one of the only signs that they are anxious, nine times out of ten they are completely in control of their feelings.

"Mrs. Hundur," The door that leads to the examination rooms opens and a nurse steps out," We're ready to see you." I stand up a bit too quick, a spell of dizziness passes over me while Bloodhound keeps me steady.

"Careful, astin min." I nod and make my way to the nurse.

"Step on the scale, shoes off please." I do as she asks and bite my lip nervously until the number appears on the screen.

"158.3lbs, you've gained just about five pounds since we've last seen you. Alright, now please use the restroom and we'll see you in room 4. It's right down this hallway if you'd like to follow me." She takes Bloodhound to wait in the room, I get in and out of the bathroom before joining them. I sit on the examination chair beside the sonogram equipment with Hound sitting in a chair across from me. We wait patiently, neither of us speak but I swing my legs to pass the time. The air is crisp, unlike the rest of the building, due to the equipment being temperature sensitive (which is fine with me). There's three knocks on the door before the doctor opens it slowly, she smiles between the two of us as she sets her laptop down on the counter.

"Good morning, how are you feeling today?"

"I haven't been feeling nauseous these past few days," She turns around and smiles as I continue, "The baby is moving around a bit more now too. It's so exciting." We exhange a few more pleasantries but I don't realize Hound is staring at me. They can't help but smile as they watch my eyes light up with excitement as I talk about the baby. If only they could find the words to appropriately admit how much they admire my ability to bounce back from the brink time and time again only to come back stronger than before.

"Bloodhound?" They blink beneath the lense of their mask and tilt their head at me. I'm laying on the table with the doctor in front of the sonogram equipment, I wave them over to us.

"We're going to take some measurements to make sure the baby's growth is on track. Now, before we start, do you want to know the sex?" She raises an eyebrow as I lift my shirt up for her. She applies the gel that helps the fetal doppler slide around with ease on my stomach and repeats the question.

"Yes."

"No." Hound and I respond simultaneously, I stare at them and blink back my surprise.

"You don't want to know?"

"I'd like it to be a surprise, ve can keep everything gender neutral for now. It's just something extra to look forward to vhen the baby comes." They explain, I nod in understanding and finally, after a moment of contemplation, hum my agreement.

"Okay then it's decided, now let's make sure the baby is okay."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, when we're home, I find myself straddling Hound on the couch. They rest their hands on my waist with a smirk on that oh-so gorgeous face as I bite my lip. My shirt has already been discarded, along with my bra and pants as I grind against them. There's only the tiny bit of lace fabric separating me from what I really want to be grinding down on and that smirk on their face tells me they know as much. 

Nothing could compare to the joy of finding out our baby is perfectly healthy but, after getting home, I realized that the excitement from that transferred over. Maybe it's my hormones that are making me feel this way but my mind is finally a bit relieved of worry at the moment so I want to celebrate with them. We both deserve to relax after stressing out so much over everything.

"Beloved, you are getting distracted."

"Right, sorry." They let their face fall between my breasts and nip at the skin playfully.

"Vhere vere ve?" Their tongue slips out between their lips and they lick their way to my nipple. They begin sucking it eagerly, their other hand comes up to massage my other breast. I throw my head back and moan loudly, Artur and Luna caw from somewhere in the house as if annoyed by me disturbing their peace.

"Hush." Bloodhound hisses out, much too quiet for the ravens to hear but I know it's directed at them. They switch breasts to give the other one the same treatment, I let my eyes roll back at the intense pleasure. Their mouth and tongue are unfairly skilled, it isn't long until I'm putty in their hands.

"Hound!" I whine out, grinding harder against them as their cock twitches with interest. They growl against my skin and pull back. I lift myself off of their lap just long enough to free their cock from its restraints. I lick my lips hungrily and kneel beside them before leaning down over their lap. I stick my tongue out to teasingly lap at the pre-cum drooling from the tip. As they groan again I wrap my lips around the tip and swirl my tongue around it as their hand falls to my hair. They refrain from pushing my head further down their length and instead grab a fist full of my hair to help keep themself restrained. I take more of their cock until the tip is nearly hitting the back of my throat, I can't help but moan around their length.

"Dear Gods..." They sound breathless as I begin bobbing my head, I make sure to take the time to flick my tongue out as I continue to blow them. It isn't long before they tug my hair, I lift my mouth off of them and take a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" I stare at them, worry seeping through my voice as I scan their face for any sign of discomfort.

"My love, I vant to make you feel good too." 

"Oh." I smirk and straddle them once again, they line up their cock with my entrance and I make a show of lowering myself onto them after pushing my panties aside. I lean forward until my breasts are in their face but they don't seem to mind. They let one hand fall to my ass while the other rests on my hip, I lift myself up and cry out with pleasure. My head falls back as I slam down onto them, I find a rhythm that works for us and they start whispering against my skin.

"So beautiful, I love the vay your breasts jiggle as you ride me." My eyes roll back at their dirty talk, they are too good at this.

"Oh Houndie, I love your cock." I suck in a breath as I clench around them, already cumming around their cock.

"You feel so good, hnng, now be a good girl and let me cum inside your tight little cunt." My eyes widen in surprise at their vulgarity, they never seem to lose control like this. They hold my ass and in one swift motion they have me on my back beneath them as they thrust sloppily into me. My legs are shaking and my senses are heightened as they slam into me relentlessly.

"Hound, you're acting so feral and I l-love it." That seems to send them over the edge, their cock twitches and they wait until every last drop of cum is inside of me before pulling out. I sit up and they pull me into their lap once again, their arms wrap around my upper back as they hold me close.

"I am so in love vith you (y/n) and I'm so glad the Gods bless us vith a healthy child." My heart nearly leaps out of my chest at their confession, I nuzzle into them and sigh happily.

"I love you too. Nothing makes me happier than knowing everything is going well between us. I mean, we're finally going to have a baby."

"I can't vait to meet our baby."

Our baby...

Gods I love the sound of that.


	4. One Final Celebration

Something doesn't feel right.

It's been a couple of days since my last appointment and the doctor swore up and down everything is okay with the baby. I refused to leave the office until I heard their heartbeat, only then was my mind put at ease. But today the baby hasn't moved, although they could be sleeping. Bloodhound is busy so I can't get a second opinion. 

It's a Saturday, but they should be getting done with their game soon enough. Speaking of which, I should turn on the T.V. to see how well they are doing. I cuddle under the warm covers and hit the power button on the remote, finally letting the worry ease out of my mind for the moment. They already announced the winners and are currently playing recaps of the game. Bloodhound's banner shows up on the screen alongside Bangalore and Mirage, they were the kill leader though which makes them the "official" champion. I smile and congratulate them in my head.

They did mention something about spending the evening at Elliott's bar, perhaps I should surprise them by stopping by. Usually I wouldn't be able to but I've been staying in a luxury hotel just up the street from the Paradise Lounge. Bloodhound wants me close to the hospital since I'm due in just over a month, it's sweet that they worry so much. And, truth be told, I like knowing they are one phone call away from being by my side. 

It makes me feel safe.

I finally decide I should join them to celebrate their victory. After all, this could be the last time I can because the baby will be here soon enough. With my mind set I throw on a comfortable maternity dress, a pair of leggings and some slip on shoes. Nobody will say anything and, at this point, I don't particularly care. I'm all for comfort over style when I waddle like a duck and my stomach is so swollen I can't see my own two feet. With only determination to push my exhausted body forward I leave the room and lock it with my keycard. A few blocks of walking is the kind of exercise I need, regardless of how absolutely exhausting it will undoubtedly be.

Still, I press on even with a dull ache in my heels. What is only a ten minute walk feels like an hour but I finally reach my destination with a tired sigh. There's a sign on the door that says 'private party' so I pull out my flip phone. I never really get signal in the woods so I have little need for anything more, it's simple and works which is all that matters. I quickly pull up my contacts and press Ajay's name, I only hope she can hear me over the overwhelming thumping of the bass. It rings for a moment before her muffled voice comes over the reciever.

"(y/n)? Are you alright?" I can hear a door creaking open as the music fades further into the background.

"Fine, J. I'm outside though, could you possibly let me in? I wanted to surprise Hound."

"Yah mean you got bored. Ever the impatient one (y/n)." I let out a little giggle and sigh, my breath puffing out of my mouth as smoke in the cool night air.

"You know me too well."

"I'll be right there."

"Thanks J!" She hums her acknowledgement and the phone clicks, I close mine and set it in the small satchel hanging on my hip. I lean against the wall and catch my breath, still a little out of it after such an "arduous journey". The door swings open to reveal a smiling Ajay, she beckons me inside but I must not move fast enough because she reaches out to grab my wrist. After dragging me inside she shuts and locks the door once again, intent on keeping strangers out of the building.

I spot Bloodhound sitting on a barstool having a conversation with Elliott. Or is it one of his decoys? I still have a bit of trouble differentiating the real Elliott and his holographic decoys.

"Whatcha waitin' for? Go get your spouse."

"Maybe this was a bad idea, they are probably tired of being stuck around me all the time." She shakes her head and sighs as Bangalore makes her way over to us.

"Congratulations on your win, 'Nita."

"It w's all than's to your person." She slurrs out, clearly having reached her limit of alcohol. "Go give 'em a big 'ol ki's f'r me."

"No problem." I giggle as Ajay steps in by grabbing ahold of her arm and taking her towards a booth at the back of the bar. I scan the crowd once more before anxiously scooting towards Bloodhound, they have never told me they don't want me around before so why would this be any different? With that little mental pep talk I confidently stride over to my spouse and tap their shoulder, they spin in their stool and straighten up immediately.

"My falleg kona, I am so hamingjusamur (happy) to see you." I stare blankly at them and glance up, there's a small glass of what appears to be whiskey or scotch in their hand.

"You revert to your native tongue when you're drinking, how cute." They tilt their head and laugh heartily before nodding.

"Stundum (sometimes). So vhat brings you here?" Their free hand intertwines with one of mine as I take a seat on the stool beside them.

"Got tired of sitting around and I saw that you won."

"Ah, so let us halda hátíðlegan (celebrate)! Elliott?" They call for the holographic trickster, he comes bounding over in a rush.

"And what can I do for you this evening my friend?" 

"Vater for m'lady. Or safi if she's feeling it." 

"Safi?"

"Juice!" They exclaim excitedly, I can't help but giggle at their drunken demeanor.

"Water is fine."

"No problemo!" He hurries away, I return my attention to Bloodhound who is staring at me intently.

"Ert þú hamingjusamur?" They watch as I raise an eyebrow and laugh again, "Are you happy?" Elliott comes back to set the glass down in front of me, I quickly thank him and take a sip.

"I am. Everything is finally going right for us."

"Það er ætlað að vera svona (It is destined to be this way)." They hold up their glass towards me, " To our family."

"To our family. And congratulations Hound, I know you work so hard for us." I clink our glasses together and take a quick swig of my water while they push a straw though the unclipped mouthpiece where their respirator usually rests.

They finish up their drink and offer me their hand, I gladly take it as they gesture to the small dance floor. For someone who has been drinking for awhile they are still steady and careful with their movements. I guess it shouldn't surprise me, even under the influence they are in total control. It's quite admirable, but I don't have time to dwell on it as they spin me away from them. With my back to their chest they pull me against them, their arms wrap around my stomach as best as they can. They sway us both, I follow their rhythm even though it's completely out of time with the song (and honestly I've never slow danced to pop music before). Their mask is a bit awkward as they try to rest their head on my shoulder but they find a position that must be comfortable enough because they stop moving around. Then the whispers start, sweet nothings about how jubilant they are to live such a fulfilling life. I hang on to every word and repeat them back in my head, hoping to remember every last thing they say to me tonight.

"Konan mín, you are the ray of sunshine that manages to cut across the sky even on the foggiest of days."

"þú ert svo fallegur. So very, very beautiful."

"Our child vill færa líf okkar gleði (bring joy to our lives)." I admit I'm confused but I don't want to break their concentration.

"And you vill be such a great mother." I sigh happily while resting my hands atop theirs.

"You are a kindred spirit. I am so happy to have met someone vith beliefs so close to my own, I only hope our child vill be joyful of this as vell."

"Bloodhound?" I can't keep quiet anymore, my heart is spilling over with love at the moment. It's a bit overwhelming.

"Hmmm?"

"You are everything I could ever want in this life. And I will be more than happy to pass that on with our child, nobody will forget who we are. One day, when we're older and tired, we will live vicariously through them. Our beliefs and our hard work will show through their actions. I am absolutely sure of it."

"Until those days come I vill cherish every moment we have together on our adventures. Through thick or thin..."

"In sickness or in health..." I continue for them as they turn me around in their arms.

"No matter the circumstance, I vill alvays have an abundance of love for you." Their words nearly take my breath away, if I wasn't so huge I'd cuddle up to them but for now I simply hold their hands in mine and caress their knuckles.

"I'll love you forever and a day."

And, in this moment, I know nothing will ever tear me down. With them by my side I can truly accomplish anything, no matter how impossible it may seem. I still have that dark feeling of impending doom but for now I cast it aside to focus on being happy. With them around, it isn't hard to accomplish. 

I'm just incredibly grateful to have them by my side.


	5. A Shoulder to Cry On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be incredibly sad I'm so sorry.
> 
> SO BE WARNED!!!
> 
> I cried while writing it...

This whole week has been a bit more intense than I had hoped it would be. Bloodhound woke up with a hangover from hell after that night at the bar. Luckily enough for them Elliott is an expert when it comes to all things drinking, including the aftermath. He fixed them up in no time and we spent the day walking through town to buy clothes for our baby.

That part was actually okay.

But the stress has been building up and there's a strange feeling in my heart. It's as if my body is aware of some information and my mind hasn't quite caught up to it just yet. I realize I have trouble keeping track of the baby's movement, sometimes I feel a dull flutter but maybe I'm mistaking gas for movement. I just don't know anymore and it's killing me.

Bloodhound notices this and watches me sulk until they have had enough, "Vhat's going on beloved?"

"Somethings wrong," I suck in a breath nervously, "With the baby." 

"I know you are scared but you've been saying that the whole pregnancy. If something vas to happen it vould have already happened by now." They don't even realize they are going to be eating those words soon enough. A mild cramping sensation ripples across my stomach, I try my best to write it off as a braxton hicks contraction and move on with my day.

We're on our way to the doctor's office, I'm far enough along to visit her every week now. Bloodhound's gloved hand is intertwined with mine as we stroll through town. That ominous feeling is still creeping up my neck, I shudder and anxiously exhale as we continue our journey. It's close by, maybe a few blocks, but we stop at a convenience store to get a snack and some soda on the way. My latest craving has been slushies of any variety, I drink them like water and it's getting a bit out of control. Bloodhound is more than willing to indulge me though. They never deny me what I want as long as I eat healthy meals with them.

I sip my coke slushie until we get to the doctor's office, I toss my cup in the trash just before we enter together. Bloodhound chuckles and throws their arm over my shoulder as I sign myself in. The woman at the front desk smiles at us before I turn away to waddle into a seat. There is a T.V. on but it's just background noise as I rub my stomach. I get this weird tunnel vision where all I can focus on is how my body feels and worrying if that's what I'm supposed to be feeling. I'm pulled from my thoughts when the nurse practitioner calls my name, I stand up abruptly and walk to the back with her as Bloodhound trails close behind us.

She takes the usual measurements, I look away when she takes my weight because, let's be honest, being pregnant hasn't been easy on my body. Bloodhound squeezes my hand reassuringly as we move into an examination room together.

"The doctor will be with you shortly but I can take your blood pressure and we can listen to the baby's heartbeat." I sigh, finally relieved to be reassured that everything is alright with my baby. It doesn't take long to take my blood pressure but she seems a little confused as she sets the doppler on my stomach to listen to the baby's heartbeat. She moves it back and fourth multiple times to no avail, I'm nearly sitting on the edge of my seat by the time she pulls the device off my body.

"The baby could be hiding, we'll try to get you in for a sonogram. Let me just talk-" There's a soft knock on the door and the doctor steps into the room. The nurse practitioner shares a look with her and they exchange pleasantries before stepping back out into the hallway. 

"I'm sure it's okay, the baby is just being difficult." I pray to the Gods Bloodhound is right but my heart is sinking further down into my stomach. I knew something wasn't right. I shouldn't have second guessed myself...

The doctor comes back into the room and offers her hand to help me out of the examination chair. I share a nervous glance with Bloodhound before getting up and following her silently into a room with sonogram equipment already set up and ready to go. I lay down on the bed and pull my shirt up, the doctor smiles at me but I can see the look of fear reflecting in her eyes. 

𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥...𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

The doppler is on my stomach squishing the gel around while the doctor is staring intently at the monitor. Bloodhound comes up beside me and holds my hand over their heart. My eyes are glued to the monitor as the doctor finally removes the doppler and swivels in her chair to face me. She rests her hands in her lap with a blank expression on her face, "This is going to be hard to hear."

That's all it takes for the tears to start pooling in my eyes, I try my best to blink them back as Bloodhound helps me sit up. "I'm ready." My voice cracks and I can feel Bloodhound's hand run through my hair comfortingly.

"We're going to admit you to the hospital for an induction. There was no heartbeat and I just confirmed that the baby has passed away." There are no words for the ache in my chest, I feels like someone is tearing my heart in two with their bare hands. I start sobbing hysterically and babbling incoherently as Bloodhound envelopes me in their arms. 

"The baby vas healthy, I don't understand." Bloodhound's voice is strained as if they are holding back tears. It only makes my heart sink further...

"Right now we have no explanation but we can do a physical examination after you birth the baby. The sooner the better but I understand this is a lot. When you're ready head over to the hospital from here and the nurses will contact me so I can meet you there." The tears keep flowing as I clutch their shirt and pull them closer, they whisper reassurances but I can feel a few tears fall onto my skin. I can't find it in my heart to look up at them and see the pain etched across their face.

"A stillborn..." I mumble and let Bloodhound help me to my feet.

"Let's get this over with." The doctor shoots Bloodhound a look of worry as I march towards the door. The pain is numb for the moment, it's as if I can feel everything and nothing all at once.

It's just overwhelming.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel lifeless through the whole process but I adamantly refuse any numbing medication. I don't want to be numb anymore, I just want to hold my baby and pretend this was a horrible joke. This isn't really happening, it can't be happening. I don't know what I'll do if this is real. 

Bloodhound is sitting in a chair beside the bed with their hand in mine as I endure some of the more painful contractions. It won't be long until I'm ready to push but mentally I don't think I'll ever be prepared. They said a c-section could warrant some unneccessary complications and according to my health I would be able to safely deliver naturally. While I want to hold the baby I just don't know if it would be better or worse to feel all the pain that comes with labor and end up with nothing but a hole in my heart at the end of it all. 

I guess I don't have much of a choice anymore.

The doctor comes into the room and flashes me one more apologetic smile before setting the bed up. The leg rests click up and I sit my legs in them, they are now in the perfect position for me to push. The pain is somehow manageable still so I power through and take a deep breath.

"Take another deep breath then hold it for ten seconds and push, okay? You can do this." I nod half-heartedly, still dazed by the whole situation. I push for hours, even with no complications I'm still having a difficult time using all of my strength. The doctor offers to let us take a small break, Bloodhound gladly accepts that and cups my cheek. I'm staring into their bloodshot eyes as they heave a sigh, "You can do this. You are strong enough. Ve'll be okay."

"I'm not, I can't..." I whimper as another contraction ripples through me, they let me squeeze their hand as we redirect our attention to the doctor again.

"Okay...I just want this over with..." With a howl of pain I give the next push all of my remaining strength, I can finally feel the baby's head come out but the room remains silent aside from my heavy breathing. It's not right, it doesn't feel right. It doesn't sound right.

This is real.

"I need two more good pushes for the body and the placenta." I oblige her but the silence is still defeaning. My head is spinning as she clips the umbilical cord and lifts the baby up. I stare blankly as one of the nurses takes our baby girl and cleans her off quickly.

"Would you like to hold her before we run some tests?" I nod, unable to find the words I'm looking for. They place her into my arms, she feels so weightless and looks so strange. Her eyes are closed as I count her fingers and smooth back the little bit of peach fuzz on the top of her head. Bloodhound watches carefully, they are more interested in watching my reactions as I cuddle the baby close to my chest.

What happens next feels like a moment of temporary insanity, my head doesn't process that she's dead. In my mind I see a wailing infant snuggling close to her mother for comfort. She must be hungry...

"She's so beautiful. And maybe hungry? Do they usually eat right after they are born?" I look up and glance between Bloodhound and the doctor, they share a look of worry as the doctor reaches forward to grab the baby.

"No!" I cry out and whisper an apology, "No...sorry I don't want to scare her. She'll be okay. I got her, right Bloodhound? She's okay. She's perfect."

"Beloved, please..." Their voice is soft as they reach forward, "May I?"

"Of course." I smile at them with wide eyes as the take the baby, they whisper some prayers as they hand her back to the doctor. I sit up in bed hurriedly and lunge forward.

"No! They are going to take our girl away! Don't let them do it! Please! PLEASE!" I scream out, the tears flow freely once again. Bloodhound tries to pull me back but I slam my fists against their chest. "You let them take her! That's my daughter, that's our daughter and you let them...take...her...." My voice fades out as the drowsiness sets in. I fall against their chest as a nurse presses her pointer finger against her lips. Bloodhound stares at her, clearly worried, so she begins explaining herself as I fall into a dreamless slumber.

"A lot of woman become hysterical after experiencing something traumatic. I just administered some medication through her IV that would make her fall asleep so she can't hurt herself or anyone around her. She'll wake up after a good bit of sleep." They nod, grateful for the time to deal with their feelings alone for a few hours. 

This is going to be the longest night of their life, they just hope they can be what you need them to be...

How could this happen?After everything they have been through with you. All the lost pregnancies and now this...

Their faith in the Gods feels misplaced at the moment but somehow they know they will get through this. But you? They aren't sure where to start but their first instinct is to call Ajay.

If anyone could help at a time like this it's her...

They hope.


	6. The Day After Our World Ended

I stretch my arms and legs out first, my eyes aren't even open yet. But there's whispering amongst the cracks and pops of my joints, I instantly recognize both voices.

I've almost forgotten where I am but once the fog lifts from my mind I nearly burst into tears as my eyes flutter open. They burn, as if I'd been crying nonstop for the last twenty-four hours (which I would have been if they didn't knock me unconcious). My gaze lands on Bloodhound and Ajay sitting on the couch a few feet beside my bed. Bloodhound looks like a disheveled mess, I have to do a double take to realize just how worse for wear they look. Meanwhile Ajay looks tired and sympathetic as she squeezes their shoulder and nods in my direction. They instantly straighten their back up and wipe away any remnants of sadness from their face as they smile at me.

"Beloved, you are finally avake. How do you feel?" 

"Physically? Like I just had a baby. Emotionally? Like someone reached into my chest and gripped my heart until it burst open only to pull out it's remains and show them off to me. So pretty good, all things considered..."

"..." They can't seem to figure out how to respond as Ajay smiles weakly at me.

"They are just trying, you both need to pull togetha for this one." I sigh, so badly wanting one of her infamous pep talks but deep down inside I know it would be futile right now. The cloud of darkness still hangs over me heavy, maybe with time I can handle her big speeches about marriage and togetherness.

"J, I appreciate it but not now. Please." 

"I know, just need yah to know I'm here. No matta what." I manage a small smile, it's more like one side of my mouth twitches up briefly but the gesture does more than enough to make her actually smile.

"Where is she?" I let my head fall back against the pillow and sigh, not sure what's going to come next.

Really, I'm not sure about anything any more. I just want to stop feeling anything for awhile. A long, long while...

"They ran tests but it vas inconclusive, they are coming back vith papers soon. Ve need to decide if ve vant to have her buried and hold a funeral or if ve vant to have her cremated." I can feel my heart constrict in my chest and I shake my head.

"I don't want to see her. Ever again. I want to forget these last nine months, I want to pretend I'm at the mall eating shitty food court food instead of deciding how I want to handle my deceased daughter's body. More importantly, I wish it was my body we were disposing of." Ajay and Bloodhound share a look of concern and Ajay quietly approaches the bedside.

"You can't say stuff like that, least not 'round those doctors. They'll have you in a straight jacket if they hear yah talkin' bout dying. You're being heavily monitored right now." I shrug and turn my head towards her.

"Why do I care?" She crosses her arms and a stern look crosses her face.

"Yuh dun' have to, I do and so does Bloodhound. They need you too! I know this is hard but you don't get to be entirely selfish. Your spouse needs you, it was their daughter too."

"So you came here to reprimand me? I deserve to be upset!" I spew out angrily, she just shakes her head and apologizes quietly. "But of course you're always right...Is it okay if I have a few minutes alone with them? Y'know...before the doctors come back." 

"Of course," she kisses the top of my head in a very motherly way and nods, "I'll be nearby."

As soon as she leaves the room I beckon Hound over with tears welling up in my eyes, "Houndie..." They immediately climb into the bed and wrap themself around me, I lean into their touch and let the tears flow freely.

"Did I do something wrong?" They adamantly shake their head and sigh.

"You did everything you could."

"But clearly the Gods are angry at us. Maybe I'm not worthy of you..." They tsk and hold me closer if at all possible.

"Even if they thought that I vould disagree. This vas just..." They can't find the words they are looking for but instead sniffle as they fight back their own tears.

"It's not fair." They run their hands through my hair to comfort me, it does very little but the gesture is sweet.

"It's not but ve must keep going forward."

"I'm just so sorry I can't give you a family. If you want to leave I understand..." They lean back and frown as the door swings open, a nurse holding a clipboard walks inside with a doctor trailing close behind her.

"You're awake, how are you-"

"Feeling? Great." I stare blankly at her and she nods as the doctor steps forward.

"We have some decisions to make regarding the child."

"Engill. Her name is Engill." Bloodhound sucks in a shaky breath and hides their face in my neck as they weep. I hold the back on their head and rub their knuckles with my thumb.

"We haven't had a lot of time to discuss it but I'm okay with cremation."

"Vhatever you vant." They whisper, still clinging to me.

"Okay. Now we'd like to see to it you try to go to therapy or some counseling after something traumatic but you seem to have a good support system. We do have resources to offer you and we'd like to give you this. It's a box with a lock of hair, a photograph and we'll add her baby blanket, bracelet and a picture of her foot and hand prints. We hope it brings you some comfort." The nurse sets the box down on the stand beside the bed and smiles sadly, "Would you like to see the baby one last time?"

"No, please no..."

"That's okay, it's normal. We'll get everything together and draw up some paperwork. If your vitals check out we can try to get you discharged within the next twenty-four hours."

"Thanks." She hums and nods as the doctor follows her out of the room, Ajay peeks her head inside. When I beckon her over she hurries inside before closing the door.

"So what comes next?" She sits at the foot of the bed as Bloodhound looks up, their eyes puffy and red from crying. Just seeing them break down makes me want to break down but I fight the urge to sob uncontrollably. They need me right now, I'll fall apart later when we get home.

"Now we wait...but I think I need to find myself a job in the city. A distraction would be good for me." A look of concern crosses her face and she tilts her head.

"Are yah sure?"

"My love you can take all the time you need to heal." Bloodhound nuzzles my neck and squeezes me tight.

"If I just sit around and think about her I'll go insane. I need to distract myself, I just don't want to think anymore..."

"You can rest up before deciding anything, I'll be here if the doctors come back. Both of yah, cuddle and get some decent sleep without being drugged up. Yah need it."

"Thanks J, for everything." She smiles and makes her way over to the couch.

"Anything for you guys."

I snuggle up to Bloodhound and pull the covers over our bodies. They readjust themself so that my head is resting on their chest. With one arm wrapped around my back and the other intertwined with one of my hands they sigh sadly.

"Ve'll get through this. I promise I vill do everything I can to make you happy again."

I stay silent, pretending to already be asleep. I want to reassure them, to tell them it's okay and I'll always be happy as long as we're together. But right now I don't think I know how to be happy. Maybe one day we'll get back to where we started but for now I'll just drag my feet along the floor as I stumble through life.

I love them but can that love heal the loss of a child? Our child...

Only time will tell.


	7. A Change of Scenery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting better <3

I close the curtains and switch on my favorite lamp. The one shaped like an elephant with its trunk extending up to hold the bulb. The shade has a parade of elephants, some in tutus while others have capes slung over their backs. I swipe my finger across the base of the lamp, there isn't a speck of dust on it. To be fair, I've kept the nursery spotless since our little Engill passed away. 

It's been a few weeks...or was it months? Time feels like it's dragging on while simultaneously passing by without me even knowing it's already gone. Day after day has been a hellish nightmare in my mind, the pain never ceases. The burden is not lifting and I cannot find a quiet place to rest my head.

Except here, in her nursery. The place where she would sleep every night and wake us up at ungodly hours to be fed and changed...Where my daughter would have lived, if it weren't for her passing.

I'm tired of being morbid.

I'm tired of being heartbroken.

But all I want is the one thing I can never have: My beautiful little girl in my arms, alive and well.

Bloodhound has been nothing but patient even as they move ahead with their life. It's not that they haven't grieved for her. Some days they join me, letting me rest in their lap and nap comfortably in the rocking chair in her room. But they have told me 'all is as the God's will it', and while it is heartbreaking this is what was supposed to happen. I find it hard to believe we were destined to lose our girl but I also trust and believe them. It's a confusing duality, I tend not to dwell on it for my own peace of mind.

"Beloved? I must head out if I am to participate in the match tonight." They stand in the doorway of the nursery and smile, even as I stare at them with a forlorn look. "Perhaps you vould like to accompany me? It vould benefit you to get some time avay from the reminders that haunt you."

"They don't haunt me...it's like reminiscing on memories that haven't happened. That won't happen..." This makes them bite their lip nervously as they step into the room.

"Please join me. For my sake, I need to see you thrive in any vay. Ajay vill be there and ve could spend some time together after the match, the others like to enjoy a stiff drink at the paradise lounge. Please?" I look down at myself and frown deeply, I feel like I haven't bathed in ages. And not only that, their pleading feels like an arrow in my heart. The last thing I wanted to do was worry or neglect them, even if the pain still lingers. They love me and I love them, we have to be there for each other.

"Of course Hound, I'm sorry. I've basically been a ghost." They shake their head and smile, a genuine smile.

"You are dealing vith this in your own vay. I just do not vant you to forget how much I love you."

"Shower with me?" A look of surprise crosses their face, I haven't asked them for any sort of intimacy in months. I feel like being close to them is what I need right now, to ease the pain. It will be amazing to feel loved and appreciated, to feel their touch once again.

"It vould be my pleasure." They offer me their hand, I accept it gratefully and we walk to our bathroom with our hands intertwined. They watch intently as I undress. Every move I make is both deliberate and slow to tease them, I can tell by the gleam in their eyes that they are excited. My heart is beating rapidly in my chest, it feels like they are seeing me naked for the first time.

And it feels just as special.

They glance between the shower and the large tub before gesturing towards the latter. "Will you have time?"

"I vill alvays make time for my falleg kona." They undress quickly with much less grace but I don't mind. Their cock is already half-hard, making it clear they haven't lost interest in me. I smirk and, with a calm mind for the first time in months, I bend forward to fill the tub up with lukewarm water. All the while their eyes stare and follow every little movement of my body. I can't help but blush with their undivided attention on me.

"You can touch me. Please...touch me." I turn around as the tub fills with water. With that consent they all but pounce on me, their hands rest on either side of my body while gripping the rounded edge of the tub. They nip at the skin on my neck as one hand is raised to my hip, it trails along my body causing me to shiver with delight. "Hound..." I moan breathily, which only urges them on. Their hand falls to my ass and gives the plump cheek a hard squeeze while their mouth continues to trail kisses from my neck to my jaw. They almost seem hesitant to press their lips to my own.

"I have missed this greatly, but I miss my vife's company much more. Please don't leave me, don't stray from our path together. I need you elskan." They sound tired and desperate as I wrap my arms around their neck and hold them close. With their ear against my chest to listen to the soothing beating of my heart I smile and pet their hair lovingly.

"I'm here for the long run Houndie, you can't get rid of me so easily. I love you to the moon and back." They kiss my breast and lean around my body to turn the water off.

"Let's get in so I can ravish your beautiful body." Their words leave a dull ache in my lower regions as I nod. My mind is hazy with desire and lust as I gently step into the water with one of their hands holding mine and the other on my lower back. They join me hastily and pull me onto their lap, their hands are now holding my hips in an iron grip. Still, as gentle as ever, they guide me over their cock and pull me down carefully. I gasp and bite my lip, it's been so long yet it feels just the same. If not better, because we are surviving the hardest part of our marriage thus far together. And there is still so much love shared between us.

"Sweetheart..." They raise their eyebrow but accept the pet name as their hips slam up against mine. I slump forward and rest my forehead on their shoulder as they fuck up into me. "Oh Hound..." I whisper and moan breathily, they growl back and hold me close. We rock together, hips touching with water rippling around us. Our quick breaths mingle together, loose words fall from our lips as we praise one another. Everything in this moment is perfect.

"I cannot hold on much longer, my love." I nod, still dizzy with pleasure as I whisper into their ear.

"Cum inside...I trust the Gods with our fate. I trust you." I know it is stupid, to risk pregnancy. To risk losing another child...but I have to have faith in something or someone. And I truly do trust them, with all of my heart.

"Beloved I am not so sure..." I whimper and they nod, pressing a soft kiss to my lips as their cock twitches in that familiar way before their speed spills inside. I cum too, right after them, after having been on the brink of my own orgasm. I can feel my walls flutter around their cock which is softening. Yet they refuse to pull away.

We sit in the tub, in this intimate embrace, for what feels like forever. It's bliss, pure bliss, to be held close by someone you love when you need them the most.

If only this could last forever...

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Well that was crazy! Haven't seen Hound pop off like that since-" For once in his life Tavi shuts his mouth before mentioning the baby. I side-glance at him and swig back my whiskey, Hound does the same. Elliott, who watches us, waves Tavi off and smiles reassuringly at Bloodhound. 

"You did great buddy, everythings great!" They raise their glass and nod as their hand finds mine.

"We're doing just fine, you guys don't need to walk on eggshells with us. I mean, I might burst into tears but it's normal. The new normal." I joke and squeeze their hand while smiling at them. Ajay joins us at the bar with her own fruity concoction and sighs.

"Hate gettin' beat but yah did great. Just relax and enjoy yahself for now. No need to be sad all the time." I nod and finish off my drink as Elliott jumps back into the conversation.

"Y'know I have an opening for a waitress. You'd deliver drinks to tables in a cute uniform and wipe them off, what d'yah say?" He tosses a dirty rag in front of me with a grin on his face. I take a moment to contemplate the offer as Bloodhound tilts their head in my direction.

"It might be good for me..." Their thumb caresses the back of my hand and they nod their agreement.

"As long as the uniform does not show off the beautiful voman I love then okay. And if anyone hurts my vife I vill kick your ass," they point to Elliott who throws his hands up," got it?"

"Yeah, yeah, no skimpy outfits."

"Then it's decided. Thank you Bloodhound, I love you."

"I love you too. Now let's continue to celebrate for now. My falleg kona has a job and I am still a champion!" 

We spend the night drinking and laughing, it's some semblance of the normalcy I once knew. I'm hoping this job will help bring back more of that, until I can really get back on my feet. Of course I still love and miss my daughter, but life has to go on. And when it does I will make sure she's safely tucked inside of my heart.

With Hound by my side I know this is possible, it's just going to take time.

And if, and when, I'm ready we can consider maybe having another baby. Or maybe adoption? That's some food for thought...


	8. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little smut then fluff because houndie is so sweet <3

"Hey, can I get a cold one chica?" Tavi waves from a few tables away and I nod.

"Comin' right up, want a round for the whole table?" Anita, Ajay and Makoa let out a cheer of agreement and I shoot them my sweetest smile. "Be right back." I turn around swiftly with a few empty bottles in one hand and dart towards the bar. Elliott is behind the counter with a decoy, smoozing gods-know-who while mixing a drink. He sends me a thumbs up and gestures towards a small cooler beneath the bar.

"Those are special ordered for the twink." I try to hold in my laughter as I grab a serving tray and set one of the special beers on top. As I'm grabbing the other three beers someone coughs to get my attention. 

"One second, hey El! Are the wings ready yet?" 

"Yep, I'll drop 'em on your tray in a second." I holler out a 'thank you' and turn towards the awaiting customer.

"What can I- Oh, Hound! Wasn't expecting you here, thought you were heading home?" I hold up the tray in one hand after tossing a few napkins and coasters on it. I hang a bar towel over my shoulder and gesture towards the table of legends, "Want to walk with me? Should be my last order for the night."

"I'd be honored." There's something in their voice that sends my heart into a frenzy. It's excitement maybe, but the kind of excitement that makes you buzz with joy. I walk by to pick up the wings first, since Elliott seems to be preoccupied talking up another groupie. Who knew legends had so many groupies? 

"Clock out when you're done there." I tilt my head forward and walk away with Hound trailing close behind. I set the tray down and set a coaster on the table before setting down their respective beers. The wings are next, I place them in the middle of the table and look around.

"You guys need anything else before-" I suck in a breath and talk quickly, "before I head out?" Anita raises an eyebrow curiously and Tavi snickers knowingly.

"I think we're good here sistah, go on and have a good night." The blush on my face worsens and I nod as I hurry to drop the tray off with Elliott. Hound is still close behind me and as soon as I clock out they are dragging me towards the back. I swear Elliott smirks and winks in my direction, what the heck is going on tonight? 

When we're inside the small room Hound closes and locks the door before boxing me against the wall with their arms. I don't have a chance to speak or untie my apron because their hand trails down my back to rest over my ass. They grope it none to gently and lean down, the distortion of their voice from the respirator sends a chill down my spine.

"You have a passion for helping others, do you not?"

"I...-uh...yes!" I manage to squeak out as their knee comes up between my legs to rub against my clothed entrance.

"Then perhaps you could help me?" I let my hands fall to their shoulders and nod in a bit of a haze, my judgement clouded by lust. I shouldn't be doing this in the place I work but they asked so nicely... With a look of determination I stare into their mask as my hands wander south, their uniform is rather loose. They obviously prepared for this occasion and something tells me they got explicit consent from Elliott. That doesn't stop the ache blossoming between my legs as my hand slips into their pants to find them already half-hard.

"What's got you so worked up Houndie?" I can feel their eyes on me as their hips buck forward, grinding themself against my hand. My thumb teases the tip, smearing a bit of precum across it. They let out a mix of a soft whine and a growl, their hand comes up to hold my cheek. I can tell they aren't comfortable taking off their mask in a public place but they so badly want to kiss me. And I feel exactly the same, there's nothing more that I want than to press our lips together.

"You are amazing," They calm down for a moment and I slip my hand out of their pants to hold it over their heart, "You have come so far this last month." That fuzzy feeling swells in my chest, just like on our wedding day. Things have been getting better, that much is true. I still miss our daughter but being around Elliott and socializing with the others has brought a sense of normalcy back into my life.

"I love you. Now..." I fall to my knees and tilt my head back up at that them. They give a slight nod and exhale quietly so I get to work pulling their pants down, just enough to free their cock and barely show skin. I watch as they glance at the door anxiously, I reassure them before leaning forward to lap up some more precum dripping from the tip. This time they let out a shaky breath and a quiet moan as I take the tip into my mouth. I let my tongue dance around it for a moment before pushing further down onto their length. All the while my tongue swirls in a nonspecific pattern around their cock. It's a bit sloppy and there's drool dribbling down my chin but their quiet sounds of pleasure urge me on. My head is bobbing over it until the tip reaches the back of my throat, they let out a guttural growl before they step back. Their cock falls out of my mouth with a loud 'pop' and they are breathing heavily above me.

"I vish to..." I nod in understanding and stand up, they grip my hips tightly and spin me around to face the wall. There's a wooden crate beside it, their hand falls to my back and they bend me forward over the box. I help them push my pants down and spread my legs apart, they push my panties aside and lean over my body as their cock presses against my entrance.

"And it seems I am not the only one interested here, my love." They press inside with ease, I'm wet enough that there's no resistance. I guess teasing them was also a tease for me, not that I'm complaining. 

"Oh gods..." I cry out and scratch the box as they pound into me from behind. Maybe I should muffle the sounds, but when I go to hold my hand over it they yank it away and 'tsk'. 

"Let them hear you." Their hand rests atop mine to keep in from moving, I whimper and moan as the pleasure becomes blinding and intense. But they keep going, orgasm after orgasm passes through my body. They don't slow down even as the sounds become sloppier, in fact it seems to urge them on.

"Hound, oh gods it's too much..."

"But not enough..." Their voice is airy, even with the respirator. I begin to worry if they are having trouble breathing but they quietly reassure me.

"Cum inside me, please, please, please..." I beg and slam my fist on the box as the most intense orsgam shoots through my body. I clench tightly around their cock and bite my lip so hard it draws a bit of blood. I can't remember if it has ever felt this good before but gods...it's just amazing.

"Fjandinn." They growl out and rest on my back as rope after rope of cum shoots inside, it makes my lower abdomen swell just a bit. 

We're both panting, with them laying atop me and gently brushing my hair back, "I love you too elskan." When my head comes out of the clouds they pull away from me to help me to my feet, I smile gratefully at them.

"You know anyone could have seen you slap my ass out there." They shrug it off and caress my cheek gently.

"I don't care who sees. But you should know vhy I am so excitable today."

"So there is a reason!" I have an 'ah-ha' moment and intertwine our hands. I begin yanking them to the door but they stop me.

"Vhile ve are still alone..." I nod for them to continue, "I got an appointment vith a fertility clinic doctor. It is one of Ajay's friends, I hope that's okay."

"Hound that's expensive-" They hold their hand up and I quiet down.

"That's for you, a gift for my love. But I also set up an appointment to meet a child." Now I raise an eyebrow and open my mouth but nothing comes out. "Like, a child ve can adopt."

"That's a big decision to make, are you sure you want to?"

"Even if you can or cannot have children it is clear that ve both have the same desires. I am okay vith a family and giving a child a home they deserve vith parents that love them." I can feel tears welling up in the corners of my eyes as I throw myself in their arms.

"What would I do without you?"

"My love, there is nothing that I can do that you couldn't do alone. But together? Together ve are unstoppable." 

Yeah...we are, we've proven as much to everyone this past year alone. I can't wait to start this new journey into parenthood with them by my side.


	9. Good Impressions (Pt. 1/2)

"Elskan? It's already ten o'clock." I roll onto my side and stare up at Bloodhound with blurry vision. After stretching my weary limbs out I yawn and they take hold of my hand to squeeze it gently. "I know you came from a late shift last night but ve have to prepare for our appointment." They tug my arm to encourage me to sit up, I begrudgingly do so as they place a chaste kiss on the top of my head.

"Which appointment is it today Houndie?" I mumble as I wipe the sleep from my eyes and stretch out one last time. My legs swing over the side of the bed and hit the floor, I let out a whimper as the cold radiates up my legs almost immediately. Getting up first thing in the morning is always the worse, leaving behind the warmth and comfort...

"Today ve vill be meeting vith the child. I explained it last night my love." They don't sound frustrated, amused would probably be a better word to suit the situation.

"It was late, I'm just glad Elliott finally let me leave. He was on one of his drunk rants for an hour before I just walked out." They chuckle and I let out a huff of annoyance, "This time about you." I smirk and watch as their face scrunches up in confusion.

"There's no time to dwell on it. I laid out an outfit if you vould so kindly shower, you smell of booze and cigarettes." This time I raise an eyebrow and glance at the dresser, there's a gray sweater made of wool set out with a pair of leggings and a matching wool hat.

"Are you afraid I won't impress them?" They quickly shake their head and intertwine our hands before pulling me out of the bed entirely.

"I just...vant this to go smoothly. I know you've been tired and anxious lately so I am doing everything I can to lessen the burden I've placed on you."

"You didn't burden me at all. The anxiety has nothing to do with you, I promise. You know how it is for me when it comes to kids and all that fertility talk...I don't want to be the reason we can't have a family." They gently lift my chin and gaze adoringly into my eyes.

"Even if it is an issue vith you I vill never blame you for anything but today is our appointment to meet a child so ve don't have to talk about that. And I vill be content as long as I can make you happy. Do you understand?" I nod slowly and throw my arms around them in a tight embrace. They happily sling their arms around my waist and rest their head atop mine. We stay locked together like this for awhile, I rest my ear on their chest just to hear the soothing beating of their heart. In a way it brings me comfort and grounds me because, as long as they are alive, I know I'm safe and protected. It almost seems unfair that I can't really do anything to bring them the same comfort they offer me.

"Now hurry before ve are late, first impressions are the most important." I finally unhook my arms and step back, with one last glance up I smile and begin making my way to our shared bathroom. My pajamas are quickly shed and tossed into the hamper before I turn the water on to let it warm up. Hound leans against the doorway and hums, I can't help but be startled.

"Remember what happened last time Hound? Thought you actually wanted to be on time." They smirk and I can't help the heat rising to my cheeks as I advert my gaze.

"Just admiring the view." 

"I find that hard to believe." I shrug it off and step into the shower, I can hear shuffling outside of the curtain so I peek outside. They already half naked with that smirk still etched onto their oh-so-handsome face...

"Hound."

"My love?"

"Get in and be quick." I giggle and hold the curtain back for them, I seriously hope this isn't a huge setback...

\----------------------------------------------------------

We rush down the city streets with our hands locked together and my hair whipping wildly behind me. They gesture to a uniquely short building nearby, it looks out of place surrounded by nothing but skyscrapers. But I chose not to make any judgment, seeing as this may be our only opportunity to expand our family. 

With quick breaths and a sigh of exasperation we finally make it to the wide double doors. They are black with red trim, it's a bit gloomy but upon reading the sign beside it...well, it finally makes sense.

𝘚𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘊𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘖𝘳𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦

"This is it..." I feel a pang of anxiety in my heart, maybe this will all go horribly wrong and I'll find some way to ruin it for Hound... But I have to try my best, this could also go perfectly and change everything for us. This time I'll er on the side of my heart and not my mind, we are ready for this. I'm sure of it!

"Are you ready?" I nod and they chivalrously hold the door open, a woman behind the desk acknowledges us as we step inside.

"Would you happen to be (f/n) (l/n) and Bloodhound?" She stands up with a clipboard at the ready as Hound and I approach the desk.

"That's us." 

"Alright just go ahead and fill this out while we get her ready to meet you." 

"Her..." I stare off in a trance trying to imagine what she looks like and acts like. Something about just knowing it's a little girl makes my heart swell, it's like loving someone without meeting them.

"Come my love, let's hurry up and finish this." I let Hound drag me along to a chair as the woman steps through another door. I get a glimpse of a larger hall, from what I can tell it's modest but relatively plain. I'm brought back to reality when Hound lightly strokes my cheek with their thumb, "It vill be alright. I am here vith you." I lean into their touch and sigh nervously.

"We got this." The paperwork is the typical information about ourselves until the last page. There's one question on the top with ample space to respond, 'What characteristics does your ideal child posess?' I grunt and hold my palm out to Hound, they reluctantly set the pen in my hand and watch with interest as I begin writing. 

It sums up exactly how I feel about this while being as brief as possible.

𝘐 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘥 '𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘥'. 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺.

"Beautifully written." The lady comes back and beckons us forward. Before we step past the doors she takes the clipboard and stares between the two of us.

"I think you'll love her. But we'd like to do a separate interview to begin so she can get used to you both. And since you are well known we'd like to take her back first so there's no bias. And of course with your consent we'll be able to watch your interactions with her."

"What's her name?" I ask, already feeling a bit shy about meeting her.

"Eliza. She's a bit reserved but incredibly sweet. She has a hard time with being close to people, an abandonment issue that stems from being here. But once you get to know her I'm positive you will love her and if this goes well we can begin the adoption process." I nod my understanding as she leads us to a room, I notice a camera in the upper hand corner. "We'll be watching through a monitor, now...good luck." She holds the door open and I step inside, there's a table with two chairs across from each other. 

There's a little girl with long blonde hair and emerald green eyes in one seat. She glances up at me and hugs the teddy bear in her arms closer, I carefully make my way to the other chair. We stare at each other for a moment before I break the silence, "Hey Eliza, I'm (y/n). It's very nice to meet you." I offer her my hand, she squeezes it weakly.

"Hi." Her voice is quiet, if not meek, and I begin to tap my foot anxiously.

"I know this must be scary but I promise I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to get to know you better."

"Okay..." She reels back into herself and I glance down at the teddy bear.

"That's a really cute bear, I used to have one when I was a little girl. My mom bought it for me for my first christmas."

"..."

"What's his name?"

"Her name is Princess Sparkles." I nod and smile reassuringly at her.

"Well I'm happy to meet her as well." She lifts the bears mouth to her ear and finally gives me a small smile.

"She says you're really nice. We like you."

"I'm so glad. Do you maybe wanna tell me about yourself? Or we can play a little bit, I don't want you to feel pressured to talk if you aren't ready to." There's a box with blocks and various other toys in the corner. She stands up and runs over to it and brings back a bucket of hard wooden blocks.

"Can we build stuff?"

"Of course, anything you want."


	10. Good Impressions (Pt. 2/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

"Can we build stuff?"

"Of course, anything you want." She stacks the multicolored blocks with a small smile plastered on her face. As time goes on she even begins to hum, I can visibly see her nerves calming down as she no longer bounces around anxiously. I occasionally interject with a question but I try not to prod too much.

"You know, you're very smart. I bet you could be an architect one day if you put your mind to it." She glances up and stops placing the red block on the tower.

"Like...building real stuff? Like those huge buildings in the city?" Her eyes light up and she smiles wider than before as I nod, "That would be so cool." She finishes up her building as a small intercom attached to the wall crackles to life. The voice is of the woman from earlier, the girl stares at the speaker and I watch as the anxiety sets back in. I let my hand fall to her shoulder as I smile reassuringly at her.

"Okay Eliza, are you ready to meet Bloodhound?" Her eyes widen in surprise and she stares at me with her mouth slightly agape.

"Bloodhound?!" She bounces up excitedly and points to a poster of the legends on the walls...how did I miss that? "The real Bloodhound? But why would they want to meet me?"

"They are my spouse." I flash her my ring with a smile that matches hers, she examines it for a moment and her eyes seem to sparkle.

"No way!" The door swings open and Hound steps inside, Eliza only stares between us for awhile in complete silence.

"Eliza-" I start but tears begin to well up in her eyes, I fear the worst and my heart beats painfully hard against my chest.

"You guys want to adopt me?" She bursts into tears and begins rubbing her eyes incessantly, all the while I rub her arm in a soothing manner.

"Ve'd love nothing more than to provide you a safe and loving home." Hound finally makes their way towards the table, they kneel down in front of her and offer her their hands. She cautiously places her smaller hands in theirs, they take a moment to squeeze her hands in a comforting way. "You are special."

"M-me?"

"Of course." I add in and join them on the floor, "You are spoft spoken but kind. I am so sorry that you've been hurt but we really would love to give you the home you deserve." I can feel a few stray tears gliding down my cheeks, I wipe them away as one thought crosses my mind.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦...

I've lost so much, and so has Hound...But Eliza has too and yet, here we are. We're together in this room for a reason, a greater purpose than any of us could have anticipated. Something in my heart and my mind has already made a special place for her, I already know I'm going to be hellbent and determined to open our home to her.

I don't realize the tears are streaming down my face as she launches herself into my arms, "Mommy, I want you to be my mommy!" The desperation in her voice only makes me cry harder, Hound embraces the both of us as we share this emotional moment.

"I'll do everything in my power to make that happen, sweetheart. I promise, I promise, I promise..." I chant and hug her tighter as the door swings open once again, the lady smiles at the display of affection but clears her throat. 

"I'm sorry to cut this short, but we have other appointments today. We can discuss how this went and, if everything is set, we can begin the paperwork." She holds her hand out, Eliza begrudgingly lets go of me and slinks over to the woman.

"Don't forget," she eyes me anxiously with her eyes still glistening wet from the tears, "You promised."

"Vorry not, young one. You have our vord." She smiles and nods excitedly, the woman begins to pull her out of the room but I call out for them to stop.

"Wait!" They turn around and eye me curiously, "Don't forget Princess Sparkles." I hurry to grab the bear and offer it to Eliza, she accepts her and throws her arms around my waist for one last hug.

"Please keep your promise." I gently run my fingers through her hair and nod.

"Don't you worry a pretty hair on your head about that. I will do everything I can, scouts honor." It reassures her enough so she lets the woman guide her away from the room. I'm frozen in place as I watch the two disapear around the corner, with a quiet sigh Hound stands beside me. They immediately intertwine our hands and gesture towards the door.

"Come my love, ve have vork to do."

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Every step of the process is grueling. Filling out paper after paper, calls from this person to that and more interviews...but finally (and with a huge thanks to their 'celebrity' status) the process nears its end. It's been about a month since I've seen Eliza but, fortunately for us, on this next visit she will be able to come home with us.

Which is why I'm here, cleaning like a madwoman while Hound is away at their game. I can't bring myself to clean out the nursery so we decided to give her an entirely different room. I've been decorating it with some of her favorite characters and colors, she told me how much she loves princesses as well as the color purple. The walls are painted lavender with princess decals lining them, each princess is accompanied by their animal companion as well. Her bed is against one wall, the frame is white with a simple design (it's something Hound hand carved especially for her). Even the bedsheets are purple to match the theme of the room and I have to admit it looks amazing.

We added a dresser and other cute details, but my favorite part of the room was suggested by Hound. Since she is attached to her teddy bear, Princess Sparkles, we made a special bed just for her to sleep in. It's attached to Eliza's bed but as a compartment so it can slide beneath the bed so as not to trip her up in the mornings. We figured if the bear comforts her and eases her anxiety then she deserves to be treated like family.

I find myself leaning against the doorway, scanning the room, just to make sure everything is placed perfectly. My heart is ready to open up, I am ready to let this little girl into my heart. I am ready to have this family with Bloodhound. 

I can't deny the pain in my heart that I haven't been able to give them a child but I think this is the best step in the right direction. Besides, I can tell they are just as excited as I am to make her part of our family.

The only thing holding me back now is that appointment with the fertility clinic...it's just around the corner and I get anxious every time I think about it. 

But we can do this. 

I can do this...

I just have to be brave.


End file.
